Written By Patrick "ymmoc" Arthur
21 January, 2009 01:56 PM
Deceptive Bottle Caps
By Aaron “mould” Beard
Being the bogan Andrew “infzoraN” Wallace is, he wore thongs from the moment he arrived in Adelaide to when he left. The KAGE boys + AINC admins arrived at the venue which reloaded was held at to find a million crazy kids running around a jumping castle and various other bright coloured hoola-hoops. We were told that we weren’t needed to help out setting the place up for another 10 minutes whilst the kids finished jumping around like maniacs. So I walked outside where infzoraN was walking around in circles doing something along the lines of this http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=8qXw9EZskO4&feature=related.
I ask infzoraN “waaasuup?!?!” and he replied with “I just kicked a bottle cap, except it wasn’t a bottle cap!” I looked at the ground and there was this metal pipe/pole sticking 3 inches out of the ground looking nothing like a bottle cap. This man didn’t just tap it either; he did a full-blooded soccer punt to it ripping his big toe right open. Blood was pouring out profusely, but to his credit he took it like a man and carried on like the soldier he is. This wasn’t the end for infzoraN’s poor little toe though. Fry managed to stomp on it with his shoe and khooy halted to a stop right in front of infzoraN, ramming his toe right into JamIe Khooy’s shoe. Half of the toenail ripped straight off and blood continued to pour out. Not once did this man stop to clean his toe, he was more concerned about winning LAN and he didn’t clean it until we got back to the hostel later that night.
But to more important matters, Khooy asked me “hey do you want to jump in the jumping castle”, which was set up just after the kids left. After considerable deliberation we decided to sneak in and start jumping around and trying to do front and back flips. Khooy tried to do a back flip but couldn’t bring himself to doing it - so instead did this weird quarter-back flip where he just ended up on his back. We had so much fun playing around like the crazy little kids until this guy started walking fast towards us with a stern look. We jumped out straight away and promised we wouldn’t touch his precious jumping castle again.
The name’s Andy
We were waiting in line to get into reloaded after spending about 5 hours setting up the damn place, when some babes approached our little group. Unfortunately it wasn’t just because of my natural charisma, they were red bull babes, and we were pretty keen to get our red bulls from them. Andy (infzoran), however, was a bit distracted.
He was listening to his mp3 player, not really paying attention to what was happening. One of the red bull chicks asked him if he, like the rest of us, wanted a red bull. Andy, looking towards the sky and not really listening, said “no thanks”. This girl got very worried at this stage, leaning forward and asking “you sure?”. Andy stopped listening, took one look at this stunner, and instantly started stuttering like a grade 8 boy on his first date before finishing with a “yes, sure”. Needles to say, we did not let him forget this for a long time, and nor do we intend to.
Run for the hills!
By Andy “infzoran” Wallace
It's about 3am and we're (defiler <tony>, Khooy <Jamie>, infzoraN <Andy>, Mould <Aaron>, Fryiee <Craig> and Gzuz <Gav>) walking back to the hostel from hungry jacks in SA (about 6 blocks in the 1 direction), when Khooy, out of nowhere, says, "We're being chased by a bunch of black guys!"
We all turned around and saw 3 black guys casually strolling 10-15 metres behind us. Unfortunately for Tony, he didn't look around, he just went straight into panic mode, running to the lights and trying to cross to the other side even though we were on the correct side of the road. With more traffic than in the hardest level of Frogger, Tony tried to persuade us all to cross the road for no apparent reason to avoid the imminent danger of these 3 chaps behind us...... needless to say the rest of us left our handbags at the hostel and told tony that we weren't crossing the road.... As the light slowly went green tony ran to the other side like it was the men’s 100 final in Beijing, only to turn around and watch the black guys turn the corner, showing no interest in us whatsoever. Conclusion = Tony is a racist pussy.